im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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