i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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