he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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