I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
