do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
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All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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