I love black thongs
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
