dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
