Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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