I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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