it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
