batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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