All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
