I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Randomize