Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Randomize
