They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
