She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
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He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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