ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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