my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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