Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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