Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
