I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
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I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
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I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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