I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
