Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
