You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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