You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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