Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Shame is for Republicans.
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