So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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