That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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