She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
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