Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
