You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize