lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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