I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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