On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
