WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
