There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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