11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
