i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
