I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
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i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
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You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
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