how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
