he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
