I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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