i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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