For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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