forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
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We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
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We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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