I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
