Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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