i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
The adults are the big ones right?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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