I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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