You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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