I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
