ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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