I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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