last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
