i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
then he tried to convert me to islam
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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