DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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