Need sex. Gaining weight.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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